Apparently I'm not a blogger anymore. I last blogged on November 10th of last year. I used to blog daily. Sometimes twice a day. Now, once every four months seems sufficient. Or maybe it isn't. I really kind of miss writing. It's just that I don't have anything of significance to say. Seriously, who wants to read about the mundane ramblings of what does or does not go on in my life? I don't even want to read that crap.
I want to do something different. I miss having a project and something to keep me occupied. I have an idea about something to work on and start up but it'd be a big undertaking and I'll need help from others. Like a lot of help because I figure if I'm going to do something, I need to do it up right. But for now, it's just an idea in my head and it's probably best left there.
So...in other news. I'm completely inundated with school. It's gotten difficult and just downright hard to keep up the grades and keep up with the amount of work that I have to accomplish with these classes. I'm maintaining though. If I can just get through this Algebra class in the next 3 weeks and then 9 weeks of Algebra 2 following that then it'll all be gravy! My brain is taxed, I'm a bit stressed and very sleep-deprived. That may all be part of the game when you're a 19 year old college student but I'm not. I'm a 40 year old college student and dammit, I need my sleep! Oh well. Guess I'll sleep in four years when I wrap everything up with my Masters Degree in English Literature and Secondary Education!
And now, I'm going to go stick my nose in a book and work on a paper and solve some Algebra problems and I might even paint my toenails somewhere in the midst of all of that....oh and some laundry! See, aren't you glad I'm blogging and you have the privilege of reading the above mentioned?? Yeah, thought so!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Escaping
I’m having a fairly lousy weekend. I could rant and rave and pour out my soul and let everyone know my deep and terrible problems…
Or I could just close my eyes for 10 or so minutes and imagine in my mind’s eye that I’m here. I am drinking copious amounts of alcohol and eating all of my favorite foods and my sister and my closest friends are with me and we’re trouble free for the entire time we’re there.
Yep, that’s what I’ll do instead of commiserating over my trials and tribulations!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Tids and Bits...This and That
So I gave up on the whole 'Thirty Days of Truth" thing. The more I kept reading the daily topics, there more I realized that there were just so many things I didn't want to delve into on a blog. So that sweeps that under the rug. I'm just not one for pouring my soul out on the internet for everyone to know the inner most private thoughts from the dark caverns of my mind. Enough said.
I've been super busy the last few weeks with wrapping up my final projects for the two classes I'm taking right now. As I type, I've finished my Communications final paper and it's been submitted. I think I'll finish the class with a 97%. I can live with that. As it stands right now, I have a 100% in my Humanities class. I'm half way finished with my final paper for that class and then I'm done with another two general ed. courses. I'm holding my own with a 3.84 GPA right now and while it isn't the 4.0 that I'd like to have, I'm not going to bitch and moan about it. Hell, a 3.84 is pretty damn good for a 40 year old who's 22 years out of high school. I'll take it! Monday I start a Psychology class and a Critical Thinking class. I have a feeling the next 11 weeks are going to drag ass. Thankfully, I have a two week break in December for the Christmas holidays. After that comes the dreaded Math class. I am completely idiotic when it comes to Math. I started in Pre-Algebra in the 8th grade and I had a bitchstress of a teacher. She hated me and told me I didn't have what it took to do Algebra so she booted me down to General Math. So, in high school, I stuck with all General Math classes and never took Algebra or anything higher. I just might be screwed royally. I'm hoping I can get some tutoring at some point. I'll also need to probably offer up some sort of sacrifice to the Math gods. Whatever it takes. I'll learn!
In other news, I still am pitiful in the "get a man, got a man, keep a man" part of my life. Suffice to say, I just might be meant to stay single for the duration of my life. The last "potential" turned out to be a complete fucktard douchebag of the highest caliber. He completely jumped my shit because I couldn't/wouldn't pay his cell phone bill to get it reconnected. First of all, I have my own bills to pay. There are three kids in my house that like to eat dinner every single night and they also like to flip a light switch and say "Let there be light". If I have the financial means to help someone, I most definitely will. I believe in blessing other people when it's possible because I feel like those blessings come back to you. BUT... if you're going to demand that I "have your back" and work things so that "things aren't a struggle", I just have to dole out a big hearty "Fuck You" to you and your self-righteous self. My family comes first. My needs come first. I help when I can because it's the right thing to do. I don't help because I'm bullied into it. Needless to say, this "man" (and I use that term very lightly) is no longer a part of my life. I won't be bullied by any man. I've let it happen in the past and I paid the high price for it. Never again. Sayonara jackass! Another lesson learned!
So that's a synopsis of what's been going on with me. To quote a part of the theme song from one of my favorite shows as a kid
I've been super busy the last few weeks with wrapping up my final projects for the two classes I'm taking right now. As I type, I've finished my Communications final paper and it's been submitted. I think I'll finish the class with a 97%. I can live with that. As it stands right now, I have a 100% in my Humanities class. I'm half way finished with my final paper for that class and then I'm done with another two general ed. courses. I'm holding my own with a 3.84 GPA right now and while it isn't the 4.0 that I'd like to have, I'm not going to bitch and moan about it. Hell, a 3.84 is pretty damn good for a 40 year old who's 22 years out of high school. I'll take it! Monday I start a Psychology class and a Critical Thinking class. I have a feeling the next 11 weeks are going to drag ass. Thankfully, I have a two week break in December for the Christmas holidays. After that comes the dreaded Math class. I am completely idiotic when it comes to Math. I started in Pre-Algebra in the 8th grade and I had a bitchstress of a teacher. She hated me and told me I didn't have what it took to do Algebra so she booted me down to General Math. So, in high school, I stuck with all General Math classes and never took Algebra or anything higher. I just might be screwed royally. I'm hoping I can get some tutoring at some point. I'll also need to probably offer up some sort of sacrifice to the Math gods. Whatever it takes. I'll learn!
In other news, I still am pitiful in the "get a man, got a man, keep a man" part of my life. Suffice to say, I just might be meant to stay single for the duration of my life. The last "potential" turned out to be a complete fucktard douchebag of the highest caliber. He completely jumped my shit because I couldn't/wouldn't pay his cell phone bill to get it reconnected. First of all, I have my own bills to pay. There are three kids in my house that like to eat dinner every single night and they also like to flip a light switch and say "Let there be light". If I have the financial means to help someone, I most definitely will. I believe in blessing other people when it's possible because I feel like those blessings come back to you. BUT... if you're going to demand that I "have your back" and work things so that "things aren't a struggle", I just have to dole out a big hearty "Fuck You" to you and your self-righteous self. My family comes first. My needs come first. I help when I can because it's the right thing to do. I don't help because I'm bullied into it. Needless to say, this "man" (and I use that term very lightly) is no longer a part of my life. I won't be bullied by any man. I've let it happen in the past and I paid the high price for it. Never again. Sayonara jackass! Another lesson learned!
So that's a synopsis of what's been going on with me. To quote a part of the theme song from one of my favorite shows as a kid
Not getting hassled, not getting hustled
Keepin' your head above water
Making a wave when you can...
Keepin' your head above water
Making a wave when you can...
Ain't we lucky we got 'em
Good Times.
Good Times.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Day 2 - 30 Days of Truth
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
This may be the hardest of the 30 days. I've always had an issue with self-love (self-love sounds so dirty in a masturbationesque type way but whatever).
I suppose I love the fact that I am not afraid to try something new. I possess an above average amount of the ability to do things with reckless abandon. When I got bored with Florida in 1998, I wondered if I could get myself a high paying job in Washington D.C. and move there. I got a high paying job and I moved to Washington D.C. When I wanted to move to Europe, I did so. I decided that I wanted to stop procrastinating and work on that dream of mine to teach English Lit. I'm now pursuing my degree(s).
I have this inane desire to not let life pass me by. I love that I can throw caution to the wind and just fly by the seat of my pants. That's what I love about me.
This may be the hardest of the 30 days. I've always had an issue with self-love (self-love sounds so dirty in a masturbationesque type way but whatever).
I suppose I love the fact that I am not afraid to try something new. I possess an above average amount of the ability to do things with reckless abandon. When I got bored with Florida in 1998, I wondered if I could get myself a high paying job in Washington D.C. and move there. I got a high paying job and I moved to Washington D.C. When I wanted to move to Europe, I did so. I decided that I wanted to stop procrastinating and work on that dream of mine to teach English Lit. I'm now pursuing my degree(s).
I have this inane desire to not let life pass me by. I love that I can throw caution to the wind and just fly by the seat of my pants. That's what I love about me.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
30 Days of Truth - Day 1 with no promise of Day 2
I want to blog more, but I want to do it on my terms. I don't like feeling pressured to post because of this reason or that reason. Now mind you, it's not as though I have this cult following that is just crying out for me to write because they can't live a day without reading my rambling prose. Yeah, I have no following. I think all of maybe 3 people may read what I write, and that's okay. Anyway, I've said all of that to say that I am going to try to blog more, but basically just because I'm tired of writing all of this academic crap for school and sometimes I just need to write for the sheer shit of writing.
I'm going to try to do the whole 30 Days of Truth meme. I'm not guaranteeing that I'll be able to do the 30 days consecutively. That's not likely to happen and if it does, I'll be outrageously surprised....but I digress. So, Thirty Days of Truth. This oughta be interesting.
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
I hate that I allow myself to fall so easily in love (or even fall in serious "like") with someone. I'm not saying that I fall in love with a guy after three dates. Not at all. But I'm a very emotional person and I have a very difficult time keeping emotions out of the picture when I'm dating. This is why one-night-stands don't work well for me. I let my emotions get the better of me and I'm almost incapable of keeping things just strictly on a friends with benefits level.
I wish that I was the type of woman who could completely detach her emotions and leave them on the doorstep and just be capable of having fun with a guy without worrying about commitment or wondering what kind of future we might have. And again, I'm not saying that these emotions rear themselves in the first month of dating. I'm talking about when I've dated a guy or been involved with a guy for several months. And the crux of the matter is, that almost every single time I allow my emotions to escape the wall I've built around my heart, it comes back to bite me in the ass. As soon as I let on to a guy that I am having feelings for him or that I really like him, he bails on me. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. So I've really shut men out of my life. The only guys I allow myself to talk to are guys that I've known for several years. I hate that I can't allow myself to just really throw myself self out there, heart and soul but it's never going to happen. I just can't allow myself to be hurt anymore. I hate that about me.
I'm going to try to do the whole 30 Days of Truth meme. I'm not guaranteeing that I'll be able to do the 30 days consecutively. That's not likely to happen and if it does, I'll be outrageously surprised....but I digress. So, Thirty Days of Truth. This oughta be interesting.
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
I hate that I allow myself to fall so easily in love (or even fall in serious "like") with someone. I'm not saying that I fall in love with a guy after three dates. Not at all. But I'm a very emotional person and I have a very difficult time keeping emotions out of the picture when I'm dating. This is why one-night-stands don't work well for me. I let my emotions get the better of me and I'm almost incapable of keeping things just strictly on a friends with benefits level.
I wish that I was the type of woman who could completely detach her emotions and leave them on the doorstep and just be capable of having fun with a guy without worrying about commitment or wondering what kind of future we might have. And again, I'm not saying that these emotions rear themselves in the first month of dating. I'm talking about when I've dated a guy or been involved with a guy for several months. And the crux of the matter is, that almost every single time I allow my emotions to escape the wall I've built around my heart, it comes back to bite me in the ass. As soon as I let on to a guy that I am having feelings for him or that I really like him, he bails on me. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. So I've really shut men out of my life. The only guys I allow myself to talk to are guys that I've known for several years. I hate that I can't allow myself to just really throw myself self out there, heart and soul but it's never going to happen. I just can't allow myself to be hurt anymore. I hate that about me.
A Fresh Start
I thought it was time for a fresh start. A new beginning. I also needed to find a new home because my blog host was ending her blog hosting subscription. I'm one of the types of individuals who embraces change. I like it. I get bored too easily and once I get bored, that's it for me.
I don't blog as often as I used to and I'm okay with this. I spend more time micro-blogging on Twitter and Facebook. Every once in a while though, I like to just sit and write. I should be writing a Humanities paper right now instead of a blog post but that can wait. I still have about 9 hours before it's due.
In the meantime, I have laundry and cleaning to do and I'm blasting some Elton John whilst I do it!
Hasta Rasta!
xxx
I don't blog as often as I used to and I'm okay with this. I spend more time micro-blogging on Twitter and Facebook. Every once in a while though, I like to just sit and write. I should be writing a Humanities paper right now instead of a blog post but that can wait. I still have about 9 hours before it's due.
In the meantime, I have laundry and cleaning to do and I'm blasting some Elton John whilst I do it!
Hasta Rasta!
xxx
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